1. The Blunder Down Under

We have seen over the past year and a half or so the general population go from hating Wall Street and the corporate fat cats to outright despising them. An emotional transition as great as that of a 12-year-old girl who goes from loving her mom to a teenager wishing her mom was never around … But we digress.

In general, Main Street has united in its hatred for CEOs’ corruption and greed. How could they make so much money at our expense?
Perhaps the connection is loose, but why can we not apply this to athletes as well? They make a ridiculous amount in salary — paid for by us — and oftentimes treat us like poop. Ever tried to approach a star athlete, while wearing his jersey in a restaurant, only to have him shun you? Maybe he should realize that it’s your money paying for that meal. Perhaps, Kobe, you’re at least willing to share some of those hot mommas around you?

And while that analogy falls flat because we willingly give our money, what Tiger Woods is receiving does not.

Recently, Woods agreed to play in the Australian Masters at the end of 2009. Now, it’s a prestigious tournament and, when we heard about it, we wondered what his appearance fee would be. After hearing that it was $3 million, we felt a little sick to our stomachs, but realized that is probably his going rate. (It has also been rumored that the Dubai event pays him the same amount.)

Anyway, what we could not believe was that half of the money was provided by the Australian taxpayers. Are you friggin’ kidding us? In a time of global economic recession, how could the government officials at all justify spending others’ money just to lure in Tiger? If it is the case, everyone who pays taxes should have the right to a sit-down with the man, not just the chance to see him play because, believe it or not, not everyone wants to see him.

Besides, the $1.5 million dollars should have gone to something else.
A Steve Irwin memorial perhaps? Crikey!

2. A Different Kind of Dirty Dancing

Shawn Johnson, the 2008 women’s balance beam gold medalist and current “Dancing with the Stars” sweetheart, has filed a restraining order against a Florida man who jumped a security fence to the CBS studio in California where she was filming the show in a failed attempt to “meet” her.

Robert O’Ryan, 34, was arrested yesterday on charges of stalking and carrying loaded firearms after police found a loaded handgun and a shotgun in his car after his waltz across the U.S. Little tip: If you’re going to stalk someone (at least a potential wife), leave the guns at home. O’Ryan claims the underage Olympian sent him telepathic messages during her interviews on television. (ESP through ESPN, anyone?) That’ll start making the “silence doesn’t mean yes” clause pretty tricky.

O’Ryan’s moves were abysmal, but his target? I mean, what guy wouldn’t want to get with this gymnast? She sure could straddle that beam. In addition to the loaded handgun and shotgun, police found a roll of duct tape in O’Ryan’s car. We’ll let you imagine what that’s for.
We blame CBS. O’Ryan obviously only wanted his turn to “dance with a star.” And by dance, we mean get busy. Though he pleads not guilty to the stalking, he holds steady to the belief that he and Johnson are meant to be. At least she’ll be legal when he gets out of jail in four years.

Despite the execution flaws, we understand O’Ryan’s dilemma. Tom Brady ESPed us too; We’re still waiting for his reality show debut to make our touchdown.

3. Quote of the Week

“He works hard, he cares about the kids,” Union Mines High School varsity volleyball coach Mike Yates said. “I don’t think he messed up, I just think he got caught up in a screwy situation.”
“He” refers to Jeffery Steffens, the former volleyball coach at Union Mines. And what’s his screwy situation? Oh, he was just texting pictures of his penis to 14-year-old high school girls. Oh, but, it’s NBD! He cares about the kids!


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