1. Obama loves Chicago
Chicago is a great city filled with wonderful skyline, shopping, people and horse racing — yeah I said it, and you fools should try Arlington Par next time you go there. Anyway, I don’t know if it’s a good idea for them to host the Olympics. Our president, Barack Obama for those unfamiliar, is presenting Chicago’s case in Copenhagen for the bid. Not like he has anything better to do.
Now, we could criticize Obama for doing so — and providing the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin with even more evidence of his inability to lead and focus on the important stuff — but we won’t.
Instead, let’s focus on Chicago. Yes, the White Sox won a World Series this decade and yes, the Bulls were great in the ’90s, but let’s not forget the struggles of the Cubs and Blackhawks throughout the years. They have sucked for a long time.
Do we want this influence at the Olympics? Could we, the Americans, win?
It’ll likely be a moot point. The international community probably won’t choose us in favor of sticking it to Obama.
Then, Rush would really have some ammo.
2. Alright, we’ll bite.
El Tigre aka Tiger Woods won the FedEx Cup on Sunday by finishing second to the immortal Phil Mickelson. Anyway, Woods’ $10 millions bonus put him above $1 billion in his career. Not bad for 12 years of work. In the past year, as the market has decreased substantially and 401ks have decreased along with them, it must be pretty nice to have a year where you make $110 million. The only solace in this is that he didn’t win a major this year. However, how much would anyone really care if they had the hottest wife this side of the Atlantic, a huge paycheck and the right to be a jerk whenever you wanted without any repercussion? It’s a wonderful life. Enjoy it, Tiger. That deal you made with the devil only ensures your inevitable demise in hell.
3. Perhaps Vick should have used his dogfighting experience
Michael Vick had, by all accounts, a pretty mediocre week at quarterback for the Eagles in last Sunday’s game. Apparently, he gave an inspiring story about his wonderful dogs who overcame the adversity and managed to succeed despite the fact that they would be killed if they didn’t. Vick is a changed man now. He sees the world in a different light. He gives speeches to promote animal rights awareness and doesn’t want to ever have his animals harmed in the future. Guess, the Eagles must have been blinded by his speed because that’s clearly a bunch of bulldog. Vick will come back and be dominant again. Especially after he’s been tested in the ring that is the competitive NFL. IT just might take a while But he has plenty to keep himself entertained, like even more secret dogfighting.