1. Brooke Hundley: Part Deux
In this issue of OnFire, we will pay tribute to the wonderful television shows and characters so often found on the prime television of VH1. In this first segment, we will revisit our very favorite current sexcapade romp between Brooke “No guy has ever paid this much attention to me” Hundley and Steve “What was I thinking” Phillips.
Just to refresh your memory, Phillips decided to cheat on his incredibly hot wife to fool around with a young ESPN intern. It blew up in his face. In case you haven’t seen her, we’ll save you the description. But it would be similar to his wife sleeping with Mo Vaughn. Yes, it’s that bad.
Hundley appeared on “Good Morning America” a few days ago to tell her side of the story, explain how hurt she has been and drag out her 15 minutes of fame Can you say “book deal?” If you need a ghostwriter, I can pinch hit. I won’t even charge you for your services.
We hadn’t been following this story for a while, but apparently the late night comedians had been having their — comedic — way with her. Similar to us, thank you very much.
Anyway, in her interview, she referenced a Jay Leno bit that put her over the edge. So, instead of just zooming past what made her so upset, as she was crying, ABC decided to show the entire clip that disturbed her.
Now, we will admit that Leno takes an incredibly cheap — albeit hilarious — shot at Hundley, but it did not need to be shown. The girl was crying. How much do we need to exploit people in our society to gain attention for our network? (See any Vh1 television show, we guess for the answer.)
At the end of the day, Hundley is a home wrecker, Phillips an absolute moron who is now jobless and Phillips’ wife a hot single MILF. Come to think of it, this didn’t turn out so bad after all. If Phillips’ wife ever decides to do reality television, perhaps I may need to sign up.
2. Chance at Love
Mike Tyson has never done anything that didn’t shock, upset or surprise anyone after it was reported. The unbelievable boxer-turned rapist-turned-ear biter-turned disgrace has fallen harder and further than the stock market since 2007.
Yet, his struggles have left us so numb to any ridiculous story that this most recent story doesn’t phase us.
Pulling his best Jay Dangle impression, Tyson pulled a citizens arrest on an Los Angeles photographer in the middle of the LA airport.
Now, this wouldn’t sound so bad if it wasn’t because Tyson accused the photographer of hitting him.
Are you serious? What citizen in their right mind — not a Tyson-like brain, a normal brain — would ever strike another human being of that size? Didn’t that guy see “The Hangover?” Yeah, he’s fierce.
The photographer accused Tyson of hitting him first and also threw out a citizens arrest. Uh oh, we hope the cops can figure this chaotic scene out.
Tyson may be in violation of his probation for drug use. We say, let him go. We mean, is putting him behind bars really going to heal him? Is he even at a point where normal methods of recuperation can solve his obviously ridiculous craziness. That’s like saying someone can actually shut Rush Limbaugh up.
It just isn’t going to happen. And we hope not because Tyson needs money and will definitely wind up with a TV deal soon. Only one station would air it.
3. A Surreal Scene
So, when you are a star Division-I SEC athlete, life is pretty good. You’re like the celebs on “Surreal Life:” well-known, but not yet that big where people truly care about you.
Well, upset that they had not yet reached that next level of fame, Nu’Keese Richardson, Janzen Jackson and Michael Edward decided to rob a convenience store. Unfortunately, they wore their Tennessee gear in the middle of Tennessee. Talk about the perfect crime. And these guys really have what it takes to go pro?
They used pellet guns as props and a Prius as a getaway car. Nothing says scary, manly theft like those two things.
In the end, they stole no money. So stupid, just like the “Surreal Life.”